An Exercise in Managing the Inner Voice of "Can't"

Have you ever had the experience of wondering how is it that someone else is able to bring an idea to life so quickly, while you are left feeling stuck in the routine of your life?

Do you ever start talking about your “closet dreams” – the big, bold ideas and dreams you were too shy to share with others, but that make you feel complete, happy and fulfilled?  Do you notice that after talking about them, you quickly reality check yourself because you have a family, a mortgage or because you convince yourself you aren’t a risk taker? 

I have news for you.  9 times out of 10, it’s not that it’s not possible.  Rather, it is because of two things:

1.    Our brains are wired to accept a certain status quo of a life and circumstance that has been patterned into us.  The thought of changing or disrupting that status quo is thwarted by very strong neural networks.  That’s the neuroscience of it, in a nutshell.

2.    And secondly, everything seems too big and impossible if you think of just the big picture.  You need a step-by-step plan of how to get where you want to go.

But how can you start getting around your brain’s tendency to default to its regular patterns?  How can you start building new patterns to get yourself to not only see, but to believe and more importantly to FEEL what is possible with a transition or new idea?  What if you stayed in the resonance of possibility, and never flipped back to the dialogue of why things are not possible?

Here are exercises in perspectives that will help you explore where you might be with a current transition or new idea, and ways to exercise your neural pathways on what’s possible. 

1.    Get in Touch with Your Current Perspective:

Think of where you want to transition to, or what your new idea is.  How do you feel about it?  Scared, frustrated, tired, like you have no way out?  Give this perspective a name.  If you feel scared, call it the Dracula perspective, or maybe Horror Movie perspective.  Make up your own.  Once you have identified that perspective, really embody it.  If it’s frustration, what does it look like in your body to feel frustrated?  Does your posture shift?  Do you have a certain expression on your face?  Do you feel it in a certain place?  What does the terrain look like?  Is it rainy, gloomy. dark or cloudy?  Now ask yourself what is possible for you to do with respect to your problem from this perspective.  What comes to you?  You may or may not be surprised to see that you either generate ideas or you don’t.  The point is to get in touch with how your current perspective or mind state is serving you now. 

2.  Try a New Perspective: 

Now, try stepping into a new perspective.  For example, imagine your favorite color.  How does it make you feel?  Calm, excited, energized, safe?  If you had to embody it, what would it look like?  Get in touch with how you FEEL about it.  What does the terrain look like in this land of color?  If your color is yellow, is it warm, sunny and hopeful?  If it’s blue, is it calm, expansive and soothing? Really stand in the land of your color.  Once you get to the state of truly embodying this feeling, look over at your idea or transition.  Then ask yourself, “What’s possible from this perspective?”  What comes out?  Is it different than what came to you in your scared, frustrated or tired perspective?  What do you notice? Are the ideas you are generating different? 

3.  Ask Yourself What You Can Do:

Explore a few more perspectives.  When you get to one you really like, ask yourself this:

What is the one big step I can make from this perspective towards moving forward with my idea or transition?

See what comes to mind.  You might even want to do this with a friend, spouse or family member.  Have them ask you the question.

As we shift perspectives in our mind, we actually have the power to shift what is possible for us in our lives.  When you shift your thinking, YOU change.  And at each thought and exploration, you are patterning new neural pathways.  Believe it or not, this is not wavey gravy stuff!  This is actually built on science.  Psychadelic, I know! 

The best thing about this is you can both physically and mentally step into whatever perspective you like.  If you don’t have a blue room at home, imagine one.  But if you want to explore walking as a perspective, and what it feels like when you are moving and out in nature, go do that and think about your idea.  See what happens. 

The thing is this – you can choose the perspective you want to be in.  Your actions change, and how people relate to you begins to change.  Perspectives are very valuable things, and your ability to go from idea to launch of whatever it is you want to do will be directly affected by whatever perspective you CHOOSE to take.  If your perspective is scared and hopeless, you’ll generate just those ideas.  If it’s a cautious calm, you will generate different insights.  If it’s excited, warm and happy, you may get to other insights.   

So the next time you’re dreaming big, instead of defaulting to the I-could-never-do-that perspective, challenge the can’t and instead, shift the perspective. 

Have you ever struggled to shift a perspective and found that when you did, you were able to see something differently?  What did you learn?  We’d love to hear your thoughts!

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